How it Feels to be Me...

This is how it feels to have pain...

To wonder if this is part of God's plan.

This is how life is supposed to be...

To open the eyes of those who can't see.

This is how it feels to not be believed...

To be the one not received.

This is how it feels to cry out...

To be the one left to doubt.

This is how it is to fear...

To question if God is really that near.

This is how it feels to hate...

To wonder if forgiveness is too late.

This how it feels to wonder why one is alive...

To question why one had survived.

This is how it feels when one's faith is slowly withering away...

This is how it feels to smile...

To wonder if it could stay for a while.

This is how it is to trust...

To believe in oneself is a must.

This is how it feels to finally be able to cry...

To get to a point where one doesn't have to try.

This is how it feels to finally be able to love...

To believe for the first time, that there is a God above.

This is how it feels to be alive...

To have one more day to strive.

This how it feels to breathe...

This... is how it feels to be me...

~Marie J.~

P.s.

I am glad that you took the time to read this poem. But before you go to another page I want you to know, sometimes the saying "No pain... no gain" is true... I am stronger because of pain. I can write because of pain. I know pain and I have lived with pain. What pain meant to steal away from me... I gained back and more.

I can help people that writhe in spiritual pain and hide it so no one can see that they are struggling. I have hidden and buried my pain so that everyone could think I was strong and unbreakable... but inside... I was weak and fragile. It is hard to admit that I needed help, because I always thought (and still do) I could do it on my own.

Back when I lived with my birth parents, fear and tears could get me killed. I had to act strong and not give my parents the pleasure of seeing my pain. I hated it when I winced, because I knew they wanted that. So I began to feed my pain and hatred, I hated everything and it took me years (and help... just ask my mom, she has scars to prove it!) and tons of tears to get to where I am now. But, I am still working on who I want to be...

So thank you for believing in me and all the prayers... thank you for reading and caring enough to read. Thank you for sharing.

Please feel free to share any of my poems!